What is Insomnia?

Insomnia is a sleep disorder characterized by difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up too early and being unable to return to sleep. This condition often leads to insufficient sleep at night, as well as daytime fatigue, low energy, and concentration problems. Insomnia can be temporary (acute) or long-term (chronic), and many people may experience this issue at some point in their lives.

How Does It Affect Our Lives?

Insomnia can significantly diminish quality of life. Sleep deprivation negatively impacts both physical and mental health. Feeling tired and drained during the day can adversely affect work performance, social relationships, and overall mood. In the long term, insomnia can lead to serious health issues such as depression, anxiety, obesity, diabetes, and heart disease. It can also increase the risk of accidents, creating dangerous situations at work or on the road.

Psychological Causes of Insomnia

There are many different causes of insomnia, but psychological factors are often among the primary reasons:

When we think of insomnia, unfinished tasks typically come to mind. These unfinished tasks can include incomplete duties at work or study topics that seem endless, as if the day were 48 hours long. If these tasks remain incomplete, a person cannot relax, which can lead to insomnia. Unfinished tasks are not limited to professional or academic life; unkept promises, unexpressed emotions, and untimely reactions can also weigh on the mind.

Another cause of insomnia can be unresolved or pending traumas. Events, losses, negative childhood experiences, or regrets that a person suppresses can linger in their subconscious, waiting to be processed. When these traumas are not resolved, sleep problems can arise.

Chronic insomnia may also stem from a person’s inability to be themselves. Sometimes, due to family dynamics, personal psychological issues, cultural, or religious reasons, a person may struggle to assert their right to be themselves. They may fear embarrassment, anger, or exclusion for expressing their true selves. Growing up in such an environment can lead individuals to suppress their desires and dreams. According to Freud, every repressed emotion continues to create discomfort in the subconscious. Repressed dreams remain burdensome. For example, Mehmet might have felt pressured to choose a profession according to his family’s expectations, despite having different dreams. By suppressing his true desires and constantly changing himself to gain his family’s approval, he might experience existential distress, leading to restlessness at night.

The inability to establish healthy relationships and a lack of social and emotional support can also contribute to insomnia. Unhealthy relationships can increase stress and anxiety. When we feel emotionally supported, we can more easily tolerate the negative emotions that arise from conflicts. For instance, Zeynep may struggle to form healthy relationships at work and in her social circles, experiencing ongoing conflicts that create stress and anxiety in her mind, making it difficult to fall asleep at night.

Intolerance to negative emotions is another potential cause of insomnia. The inability to cope with or tolerate negative feelings can create a constant sense of unrest in a person’s mind, leading to sleeplessness. For example, if Murat struggles to cope with negative situations, he might try to suppress his feelings through smoking or work, but these emotions can build up in his mind, resulting in insomnia at night.

Unresolved grief can also lead to insomnia. Ayşe may have lost a close friend and tried to move on without fully processing her grief. This unprocessed grief can cause her to frequently think of her friend’s memories, leading to sleep problems. Time alone does not heal; learning to grieve allows one to process pain. Every ungrieved loss—whether it be a job, a cherished item, or a loved one—can snowball, compounding over time. However, when one processes a current loss, their mind may begin to address multiple past losses and alleviate the pain associated with them.

Ways to Overcome Insomnia

There are various methods and strategies to overcome insomnia, aimed at improving sleep hygiene and addressing underlying psychological causes:

Unfinished Tasks:

• Create a To-Do List: Organize your day or tasks you’ve been putting off by writing down a list of things to do. Break your tasks into smaller, manageable parts. Remember, one is greater than zero.
• Relaxation Techniques: After completing your tasks, practice relaxation techniques (like meditation or deep breathing) to divert your mind from work-related thoughts.

Unprocessed Traumas:

• Therapy: Work with a therapist to process challenging traumatic experiences. Therapy can help you understand and resolve these emotional burdens.
• Emotional Expression: Try journaling, engaging in artistic activities, or talking with a trusted friend to express your emotions.
• Mindfulness and Meditation: Mindfulness techniques can help reduce the impact of traumatic memories in your mind.

Inability to Be Oneself:

• Personal Development: Identify your own desires and goals. After clarifying what you truly want, decide what changes you need to make to achieve those goals. You can also engage in personal development activities to connect more deeply with your inner self, such as reading or participating in group activities.
• Setting Boundaries: Express your needs to your family and environment and learn to set boundaries. Respecting your own wishes can reduce your stress levels.
• Self-Care: Take time for your own happiness and well-being. Hobbies and interests can help you feel better.

Inability to Establish Healthy Relationships:

• Communication Skills: Learn effective communication techniques. Open and honest communication can help resolve conflicts in your relationships. You can watch my video to improve your communication skills.
• Social Support: Spend time with supportive friends and family members. Healthy social connections can help reduce your stress levels.
• Establish Boundaries: Define your personal boundaries in relationships and maintain them when necessary.

Intolerance to Negative Emotions:

• Emotional Regulation: Learn emotional regulation techniques to cope with negative feelings. You can use methods such as expressing feelings, labeling emotions, breathing exercises, or relaxation techniques. You can watch my video discussing various techniques to handle difficult emotions.
• Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices can help you understand that negative emotions are temporary and allow you to cope with them more effectively.
• Personal Development: Engage in personal development activities to understand the sources of negative emotions and learn to manage them.

Unresolved Grief:

• Grieving Process: Allow yourself to go through the grieving process after losses or separations. Completing this process can aid emotional healing. If you want to better understand the concepts of loss and grief and what to expect during the grieving process, you can watch my video.
• Support Group: Join a support group to talk with others who have had similar experiences. This can help you feel less alone.
• Emotional Expression: Use artistic activities or written expressions to articulate your feelings related to loss or separation.

Insomnia is a common issue that can diminish quality of life, but it can be managed with the right strategies. Understanding the causes of insomnia and taking appropriate steps is crucial for achieving better sleep and overall health.

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